How To Get Your Sexy Back When Your Tired, Stressed + Maxed OUT!

Heya Lovely!

Have you ever been so busy, stressed and anxious you stopped looking after yourself?

Work (and life in general!) got so full on, you’re friends were annoyed because you hadn’t seen them in ages, you ate your toast in the shower and you’d missed yoga 3 weeks in row

You’re were living off Thai take-away and leftover Thai take-away and you were so tired you could sleep standing up.  You were breaking out, broken down and burnt out

Plus! You couldn’t even remember the last time you were intimate with your partner, yourself or spent any time at all making yourself feel loved, vibrant and connected

Any of that sound familiar?

Me too! Ha Baby, have I been there! At times in my life I have been so stressed out, anxious and busy, that I was riddled with panic attacks, viruses and insomnia. I was operating on an empty tank and my body was letting me know it!

Whenever I find myself in states of quiet desperation; maxed out and feeling as sexy as a regurgitated donut, I know it’s only a matter of time before the cracks crumble me completely and I lose touch with what matters most…me

But I’m not talking about the me who is panicked, unbalanced and a frazzled ball of chaotic energy. I lose sight of the me I love the most

The me who is soft but strong, sensual and sexy, pleasure seeking and inspired, excited and creative, warm and receptive. The me who prioritises her relationships, finds new ways to love deeper, and to dance, play, explore and grow!

So how do I come back to her when she seems buried under a huge To-Do list and hidden behind the working, always the working, doing, pushing, charging through the day, until every ounce is spent and there is no time left for much else but sleep?

Well, firstly I’ve learnt to just stop. To surrender. I throw my hands up and call it. TIME OUT, this is bullllS@%t! “This isn’t what I signed up for,” I say to the Universe “I will not make this my life. I deserve, need, want and desire better”

Then I rebalance, revive and recharge by using the tools I have learned (but sometimes forget) Tools that alway pull me out of the dark, and realign me with love. That ground me right back into myself and allow me to fill with light, love and sensuality. I chuck them all into my spiritual blender and cook up my own…


 LoveMe LoveFest

What’s a LoveMe LoveFest? Well, it’s a set amount of time, dedicated to one thing only. Self Care.  A service to yourself that allows you to top up your love tank so you can feel inspired, empowered, sexy and filled with love.

It works like this:

Pick a day, weekend, week, or however long  you feel you need to heal yourself back into vibrancy. Be honest, sometimes it takes more than just one evening or day to really get your sparkle back! Cancel appointments, meetings, call in sick to work, whatever you need to do to create this time for you. This may feel a little extravagant but trust me, it’s not!

This isn’t a gift or a luxury! It’s a necessity, a responsibility to yourself to show up for what matters most, You! 

Make sure to rain any check catch ups with friends, family or your dentist. This is 100% YOU! time and you can’t risk getting coerced into shopping trips, babysitting or a root canal. All that good stuff can wait. Also, turn off your phone if you can, hide the laptop, switch of the TV – the aim is to be distraction free!

Now the real fun begins 

To kick start any LoveMe LoveFest, it’s a great idea to create a little ritual to shake off the ‘old’ stuff you’ve been feeling (negative self chat, worries and anxiety) and make space for the love, gratitude and gentleness to seep in. You can’t expect to get your sexy back when you’re still holding onto all that stress!

You can do this by taking a long, warm Epson salt bath and screaming out all  your frustration, fears and pent up anxiety under the water (the neighbours can’t hear you underwater I promise!) Get it all out. Scream, yell, thrash the water, have long hard cry, whatever comes up. Use the water as a cleansing agent, letting it wash you clean of everything you have been feeling the last few day/weeks/months. Doing this in the ocean is even better!

If you’re stuck for a water resource, write it down instead. The magic lies in getting all that ‘stuff’ out so you have space to ‘refill’

Fill me up Buttercup!

This is my favorite part! This is where you get to do absolutely anything YOU want – as long as it nourishes you, supports you and brings you back to wholeness.
Try to steer away from doing, or buying anything material. In times like this I feel less in need of a new dress and more indeed of recharging and rebalancing. Also I really like to avoid alcohol during this time. In times of high emotions, the tenancy to over drink can be overwhelming and things can get pretty Bridget Jones-y very quickly. It also ruins all those happy brain chemicals and we really don’t need that!

Remember: The aim here is to get out of your head and into your body. Coming back into feeling, intuition, sensuality and gratitude. Gently bringing yourself back into love.


Things I absolutely LOVE to do during a LoveMe LoveFest!

Staying in bed and mindfully sipping on some delicious herbal tea, as I write in my gratitude journal, listing all the things that bring me love and joy.  I always end up teary when I see just how much beauty surrounds me.

Creating my own day spa, pampering my body with delicious lotions and potions whilst thinking only positive thoughts about the divine body I’ve been given. It feels wonderful to shower myself with attention

Dancing. I love how connected dancing makes me feel. I chuck on Gabrielle Roth’s soundtrack Endless Wave, for a  wonderfully deep dance mediation. It’s also free on Spotify! I stamp, and stretch and quite often there will be tears, joy or anger come up, it’s such a release! The best part is, no-one can see me, so I can really go to town shaking, stamping and spinning releasing all that stagnant energy so I can fill up on the juicy stuff! Bliss!

Smiling Heart Mediation. This works magic and reminds me to what’s really important, love. I place one hand on my heart and gently breath right into my heart whilst smiling. I imagine my heart growing bigger and filling with radiating warmth as take long slow breaths from the bottom of my belly right up into my chest area, really expanding the space around my heart. When I can  feel my heart filled up to the brim,  I send all that love around my entire body by spreading it slowly, using my hands. Tip: Really take your time with this, use your breath to expand you heart and send your hearts lots and lots of love!

Coming back to my body. It’s impossible to feel sparkly, creative and heart centred when you stop creating intimacy and connection with your own body. So often when we’re stressed out, self intimacy/pleasure is the first self care tool be forgotten. Yet, it’s always when we don’t feel like showing ourselves love with touch and self pleasure that we actually need it the most! I always feel so light, and full of blissful energy when I cultivate my sexual energy!

I love to spend an hour enjoying some Jade Egg practise or maybe some gentle deep womb breathing. I also to spend a long time very slowly celebrating my body and paying attention to my breasts, womb and vagina. I connect back to myself  by drawing in loving energy through my vagina and spreading it through my body. It’s incredibly how awakened and renewed I will feel after spending time really nourishing and enjoying my body. Also the physical benefits of an orgasmic release are extraordinary, never underestimate the power of self pleasure!

Those are just a few of my favourite LoveMe LoveFest practises and tools. I’d love to here from you and how you like to reconnect and rebalance yourself either in the comments below or #LoveMeLoveFest on any of the social media sites! I’ll be putting up new ideas all the time also so make sure you check them out!

I hope this inspires you to create your on LoveMe Love Fest and most of all to  prioritise YOU above all!

Sending lots of lovin vibes your way!

Tara xxx


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