Today I want to share with you one of the most essential practices that I believe every woman should have in her sexual well-being repertoire. A self-healing technique called
Breathe, Squeeze. Release
The BSR practice is one of my all time favourites and one I do on the regular. Not only do I do this practice when I feel like I really need to ‘clear’ some stuff but I also use it monthly as a energetic tidy up or sweep out of nasties (blockages, held tensions, stuck-ness etc) that maybe forming without me even knowing!
Our vaginas, bless them, are like sponges and are super receptive little things. They love to hold on to anything negative and are great at remembering things our minds have let go of long ago. For example, even if we think we’re “over” being called a slut (meant in this case as an insult) by an ex-lover, our sexual tissues may still be holding on to the pain that comment caused and in response developed a tension or contraction creating a trauma.
And here’s the not so awesome thing:
It’s my opinion that every. single. woman has/does experience some form of sexual trauma.
Now I get trauma is a heavy word but stay with me. Because whilst the word trauma will – for many – bring to mind physical/sexual violence and abuse (Yes! They are indeed horrific forms of trauma) trauma can also occur on a more subtle level through experiencing things like:
- Negative cultural messaging
- Premature penetration
- Painful sex
- Body shaming
- A feeling of being unsafe in a female body.
- A feeling that sexuality is unsafe, dangerous, and/or could lead to unwanted attacks, attention and ridicule
The list goes on….
And here’s what makes me really mad. The things mentioned above are somewhat “normalised”.
Didn’t like doggy style the other night and didn’t speak up because you didn’t want to appear prudish? No big deal, it happens. Weren’t super turned on or ready to have a penis enter you but you just grit your teeth and went with it anyway? Doesn’t matter, move on!
All these seemingly “normal” things we go through actually create held tension and trauma inside our body showing up as physical sensations and behavioural patterns and profoundly impacts the way sex is experienced. It can cause numbness in the vagina, anxiety in the bedroom, low libido and sexual shut down etc. Basically, the brain receives the message it isn’t safe to be sexual and to ‘let go’ which can inhibit access to pleasure, orgasm and deep intimate connection.
But it’s not all bad news!
One of the ways to release this stress and heal the trauma that can be stuck in our sex centre is through sexual healing practices just like the one I will teach you today.
The Breathe, Squeeze and Release technique is a super gentle and safe way to self-heal and release any toxic emotions, stagnate energy, blockages and trauma.
I have made you an audio track to help you through the practice which you can check out HERE
A few things to remember before doing any self-healing practice:
Love yourself with everything you got! Only deep, deep awareness and love will support healing. It will allow your body to feel safe enough to express, release and then transform what is coming up for you. Focus on expressing what you feel. Don’t think too much. Just express. Let go of judgements. Don’t worry how you look or sound, allow yourself to really go there. Don’t judge it or buy into a story about why you feel the way you do, it doesn’t need to make sense, just honour it, feel it and and then let it go. Give yourself the space and time to heal. Keep asking yourself what you need right now in this moment. Hold yourself with LOVE, compassion and kindness.
Here’s how it works:
(Have a Jade Egg? Wear it during this practice. It will take it to a whole new level and it really supercharges the healing!)
Our main focus is going to be on a big deep in breath, a full squeeze of the pelvic area and then a big release of both breath and the squeeze. When you let go, reeeeeaaallly let go. Make a big sound, wiggle, allow your body to make any movement it wants. The ‘letting go’ is your body releasing what it needs to get rid of.
Before you begin this practice I recommend turning yourself on. Now I know this may seem strange, but we want to harness the power of our sexual energy as the fuel to help us release more. It will also help to bring you out of your head and into your body and direct your attention to your sexuality. It’s a hard one to explain, so just trust me on this!
After you have spent some time activating desire in your body ( it doesn’t have to be full-blown arousal just a low simmer is fine!) lay down comfortably and begin.
- Relax your entire body by taking several deep belly breaths
- When you feel relaxed, inhale completely and fill your entire pelvic area with air.
- Now squeeze! Contract every part of your pelvic area as tightly as possible, that means your vagina, your butt, your pelvic floor. Squeeze as hard as you can!
- Hold for the count of 10
- Relax and release. Exhale and let out any sounds or movement along with your breath. This is key. If you don’t feel anything play with releasing different sounds anyway. Try a loud growl, or a soft hum. Wiggle your body or bounce your pelvis. We want to encourage the body to express.
- Repeat this 10 times and then relax. Soften your entire body and place one hand on your heart and the other over your pubic mound. Send loving energy from your heart to your sexual centre. Fill up the space you just cleared with new, fresh and loving energy. Take as long as you need here. Ask yourself what else you need to feel more love and safety and then give that you yourself.
Try the Breathe, Squeeze, Release practice at home and get ready to clear out those stuck and stagnant sexual blockages, so you can invite greater pleasure, love and epic bliss into your life!