Ready to take your self-pleasure to the next level?
**** side note, the below steps can be used to transform ANY type of sexy pleasure whether it’s solo sex or with a partner. However, if you ask me, I reckon mastering the below is best done alone…in the beginning.
Our self lovin time is perfect to explore and discover new things about our sexual selves. It’s great for test runs and try outs and all sorts of experiments!
Ready to get into it?
Rightio! Here is my VERY tried and extra true step by step guide to mind-blowing pleasure
Spark + Sensation + Sublimation + Surrender = SEXUAL BLISS!
Let’s break it down, shall we?
First up you’re going to need a SPARK. A desire starter, a flicker, some heat, something to flick the switch to ON. Now I know this may sound simple but it’s really really important and here’s why…
Firstly you ain’t going nowhere near Pleasure Town if your car has no gas and you haven’t even turned the key in the ignition. For ANY moving and shaking to happen there has to be something that ignites the sexual energy ( what the hell is sexual energy? I wrote a little book about it + how to move it and create more of it here…it’s super useful even if you don’t have a jade egg! )
A lot of peeps believe that a spark or a desire starter should just creep on up out of nowhere and set their world on fire. And it can, for some. But for others ( actually a lot of others ) that spark needs the most work. It needs to be cultivated. It needs to be discovered and encouraged and consciously chosen! Basically, you have to do something that turns your key.
Now what that is, depends on you. For me, when I wish to shake off the world and dive deep into self-connection, release a bit of icky energy and bust into some bliss evvvvvvven when I’m not at all horny I pull out one of my “turn me on” tricks.
Which can include: putting some sexy music on and closing my eyes as I allow my body to begin to unwind whilst I undulate and sway and run my hands over my body. I also like to pop in my jade egg ( even at the grocery store this little baby will create a spark! ) and I do some slow rocking and deep sensual breathing – it leads to game time for sure! There are also other things like sexy words that can light up a tingle in my lady parts, or a little fantasising in the bath tub. Breast massage under candle light with a glass of wine …..mmmm yup!
It’s up to you to find what floats your boat and leads into self-pleasuring. I find it super useful to do something that creates desire first and then I move into self-pleasuring rather than using the self-pleasuring to create desire. Spark it and then begin to play.
Sparked and have begun to self-pleasure? Great! Let’s continue to step two
This step is all about the feeling. The being in your body. The focus on SENSATION. The celebration of what there is to be felt, discovered, moved into! Now it can be a tricking little mo-fo this step. Mostly because our minds often get all Chatty Cathy and we end up thinking more and feeling less. We sabotage our own pleasure before it’s had a chance to really kick off and we become spectators instead of participants. But with a little mindfulness and consistent focus on sensation, we can continue to amplify our pleasure to new heights every.single.time. But it takes a little patience. It can take a few ‘I can’t get my mind to shut up’ rounds before you get some blissful moments of pure presence and ‘in the zone’ flow happening. But when it does, it will be delicious!
So bring as much awareness to the tingles, ripples, spark, floods or flickers that are happening in your bod as you can. When your mind wanders – and it will – bring it back gently. Ask yourself
what can I feel right now? Focus on your senses. What can you feel, hear, taste etc. Explore with different pressures of touch, move your body in a different way as you stir up pleasure. See if you can move even further into what feels good. This is also a great time to deepen your breathing, allow yourself to make a little sound with every exhale… like a sigh, or groan, a purr or growl. This will help sensation not only to build but move through your body which bring us to step three
You’re in the sensation of your pleasure it’s now time to ….
Now it’s time to move it move it! You’re on the highway to pleasure town and your cruising alone nicely. You may feel like you want to put your foot on the gas a little more and see if you can get to your destination faster, but try to resist. Remember, this is about the journey ( cheesy, but true ) It’s about noticing the sights along the way. It isn’t about racing to the finish line, it’s about what you can experience and explore right now. So don’t rush speed racer, chill, take a photo, admire the sunset, enjoy the ride, otherwise you’ll miss the magic!
Plus this is one of the most important steps to supercharged pleasure and you don’t wanna rush it!
It’s time to sublimate.
To sublimate we use our imagination, hands, mind, and breath to move all that delicious feeling of turn on / aroursal / sexual energy / yumminess we’re feeling down below and we begin to move it UP. Basically you take the pleasure in your lady parts and drag it up and through your whole body which will allow you to experience so much more. We go from very localised genital based pleasure to full body bliss!!!
Sublimation also transforms your self pleasuring by helping you release stagnant energy, bust through blocks, dance into transcendence and experience transformation. It also ( and yes this sounds little woo woo ) allows your most truest version of your sexual self to show up. The masks drop, the facades, and armour fall away and we allow ourselves to open fully and surrender ( step four ) to what is there.
So to sublimate I find it helpful to imagine I have a honey pot in my vagina ( sexy right ) and that my body is a piece of toast – bare with me. I want to spread that warm, golden and delicious hunny to ALL corners of my toast right? I don’t know about you but it really shits me off when someone only puts a little bit of honey or butter in only one little area of my toast. So I use my imagination and whilst I self pleasure, I imagine drawing up that hunny right up through my body to my head ( or heart ).
How you do it is up to you. You may like to use your hands to guide it by running them up your body or use a different visualisation – some people like to imagine drawing up a colour from their sex centre up to their head. Play with drawing up and then relaxing. Don’t be afraid to let your pleasure subside alittle before self-pleasuring and drawing up again. The more you play with cultivating and sublimating without going over, the more pleasure your whole body will feel.
So you have sparked it, focused on sensations, you have sublimated and now my honey bum it’s time to surrender. To let it all go and sink into the feeling of it all and just put it all on cruise control. It’s all happening as it should. It’s moving and grooving without effort or push. Just allow your body to do her thing and let it all be. That may mean you continue to self pleasure and drag and drop that sexual energy throughout your body, exploring what it feels like to move pleasure through your body. It may mean you just self pleasure and focus on breathing. The point is to do what feels most natural and let it all play out as it wants too.
Now surrender can be hard, we want to strive or chase but chill! Remember you’re in the pleasure already. It’s happening. You are already experiencing so much. So allow your mind to settle down, your body to remain open and focus on your breathing, sounding and ride the wave of pleasure until you run outta gas, or you get pulled over by police, or you arrive at a natural end point, what ever happens…
what a helluva journey, right!!!
Want to see all those steps explained in further detail. I did a Facebook LIVE on all the above and you can check it out here.
Please note, that in my enthusiasm and excitement I gave notes for the surrender step as the sublimation step but I correct myself when I recap so it all works out !
Now go forth and SUPERCHARGE!!!