Ok so this is not going to be the sexist partner practice I prescribe BUT it’s certainly one of the most important! In fact, for me personally, it was a total gamer! The healing I received was so unexpected and profound that I have been dying to share it with you all.
Here’s the low down:
Witness Me is an exercise done with an intimate and trusted partner in order to heal and release insecurity, embarrassment and shame that you may feel (or not know you feel) around the physical appearance of your vagina.
And why’s that so important?
The way we feel about our lady parts directly affect the way we experience sexual pleasure. It also impacts our libido, sexual confidence and self-love. Feeling crappy about how we look down below puts our body into a stress response and instead of feeling states of bliss, we shut down our capacity for pleasure. It keeps us stuck in our heads and trapped by our thoughts, locking us out of our body and that just ain’t fun for anyone.
For the full details of this practice hit the image and watch the video!
WITNESS ME Guide
You/Them: Together create a really cozy space. Gather cushions, pillows, a blanket. Light some candles etc. Set up outside the bedroom. The lounge room is perfect!
You: Lay down on your back. Naked from the waist down. Butterfly your legs open, so your feet are sole to sole. Ensure you are comfy. Put a pillow under your head and each knee if needed.
Them: Remain clothed. Position yourself so you are comfortably sitting where her feet meet. You can allow your legs to go where ever they are most supported. Basically, all you need is a really clear view of her vagina. I’ll leave logistics to you!
Them: Set a timer for one minute. For that entire minute, you do nothing but gaze at the vagina before you. No talking. You may use a gentle finger to access viewpoints. Discover the incredible offering in front of you. Really ‘see’ it. Notice. Explore.
You: This is going to feel very uncomfortable for many women and it can be hard to relax at first. Keep breathing and see what comes up for you. How do you feel? What is happening in your body? Breath deep and if you need to cry, cry! If you need to make sounds, you have full permission to do so! Express what you’re feeling.
Them: When the time goes off, begin to describe what you’re seeing in front of you. In a gentle voice, literally describe the vulva, the vaginal lips, the clitoris, the public hair. What colour are they, are they soft? Hard? Hidden? Protruding? Be as descriptive as possible. No compliments yet. You are simply describing in a clear and concise way what you see.
Them: Once you have described everything visible. You may now offer authentic and genuine compliments/ comments. Keep them simple, truthful and from the heart. Keep looking at the vagina in front of you as you do this. Say your words to the vagina.
Them: And lastly after your compliments, it’s time for a small offering of gratitude. So a sentence or two describing what this spectacular vagina offers you…Pleasure? Love? Energy? Also, thank the vagina for allowing herself to be seen and for showing herself to you in her full glory. Remember this is not easy for most women to do, so ensure to thank them for their courage and trust in you and allowing you to witness them so deeply.
You/Them: After gratitude has been received, you may both sit up and hug, kiss, cuddle, stroke, caress one another. Begin to share what came up for you. Was the practice hard? Easy? Did it make you feel insecure, unsafe, vulnerable ? Did it trigger any emotions? Was it a nice experience ?
You may even like to then switch and allow the other to experience the practice/ healing for themselves. Agree to complete the practice again, in 7 days time. After that, it’s a wonderful practice to rotate in your sexual repertoire.
Sex is much more than just pleasure, it is a gateway to the most profound connection to ourselves and others. But in order to experiance true connection, we must first release ourselves from the shame and stories that block it.